The maid of honor just puked.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
