i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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