the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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