Buhtt sex?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
