Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
