Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
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