Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
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