I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
