oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
