he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
