We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
