God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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