absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
