Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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