She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize