Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
