What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
