it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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