fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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