They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Alive.
So much puke
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
