i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm at about main and main street
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize