you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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