some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
