Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
