At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
