that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
