when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize