My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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