you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
