i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
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