census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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