The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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