you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize