I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize