I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
