yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
