I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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