So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
