Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
