i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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