I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
