i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
