In the future we'll all be gay
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize