whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
