Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
