she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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