I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
