I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
do nipples grow back?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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