it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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