Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
