also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
