I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize