What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
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