i'm signing you up for texting rehab
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
