between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
