Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
