I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
