my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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