Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
