What did we do last night that was yellow?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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